Short update

Hi all,

Long time no chat, no internet connection really, serious withdraw!!!

I just wanted to share that I am really excited for my studies in September, that is basically the light at the end of my tunnel, I think, I hope! The past couple of months have been hard, but God as not for one chance allowed me to dwindle, I am grateful for that, very much!

Anyways please pray with me for finances, work and a peaceful heart.

Thanks and God bless,


C

Til later

Hey :)

This is gonna be my last post for a while, as I am not gonna have internet access for about roughly a month, as I am in the process of relocating, incase you haven't read my recent posts.

So guys, have a blast, look after yourselves. Have a blessed easter, may you experience the true meaning of this part in our spiritual calender.

Be blessed always,

Crimson

Goodbye

... and so I say goodbye to Herolds Bay and hello to Cape Town. The move for me is just around the corner. My bags are packed, furnature's almost there. Now its just me.

Trying !!!

I am trying to be positive, I need to for my own sanity!

I am still packing, it takes me a while, a    l o n g   while, I am just too emotional when it comes to saying goodbye to the known and hello to the unknown (which kinda actually is the reason for moving in the first place) doesn't always make sense, but I have a goal, I just mustn't loose sight.

Please pray that I do what I have to to make it till the end.

Love you all,

Crimson

Lack Of Money

Hello all,

I am really in need of money!!! I need to get money for my studies, I want to be a paramedic, I was supposed to start my studies on the 20th of April, but I didn't have the money to secure my place. The next coarse is on the 25th of May, so my crisis is what am I going to do till then, how will I generate money to survive and pay all my bills, I am really disappointed, I was really excited to start on the 20th, I was emotionally ready for it, I am at the moment panicking very quietly, my body is shaking from the inside, and well as the day is growing, my hands and body is starting to shake, which is not good at all, as my epilepsy surfaces really quickly when I am stressed. I am scared of having a fit, I am scared that I wont have the money to secure a spot for the 25th. In general I am a worry ball at the moment!! I wish that the world didn't revolve around money, but, it does! I cant ask my folks to borrow me the money as due to my lifestyle of being a lesbian and being in love with a beautiful and amazing women, they said that they will never borrow or give me money again, infact I am out of their will as well. At the moment I am feeling so alone, lost, and desperate, but I guess that, that is the life I have chosen and I need to make the best of it. Don't get me wrong, I will never give up my life as a lesbian, and I will never give up on the future that I have dreampt of having with the women I love.

Life is tough at the moment, but I need to stay strong and keep my faith, but I ask, please pray for me, please pray that there will be a way that I can get the money to study and get money to support myself during the time whilst I study.

Anyways, may you all have a great day, feel Gods love for you.

C

Sunday Eve - Mixed Emotions

Its late, I am tired, been working from 12 till bout 20min ago.  I still have so much to pack, and my nerves are getting the better of me. I am getting so tired of people twisting a story to make you look bad or not taking responsibility for their actions.  Work, was just kinda confrontational, but we sorted out things luckily. But I can see that it is time for me to leave, it has been fun, but the shows almost over.

On Tuesday the furniture removal company will be here to collect my goodies to take it to Cape Town, I do not cope well at all, when it comes to packing, moving and well general "big" changes.  But I am very excited for the new life that awaits me, I am excited for the fact that I am taking my life into my own hands, yes scary, well very scary, but it is time, and I think I am at a good place to take that responsibility.  I have really good friends whom support me and understand me.  THANK YOU!!!

So tomorrow and Tuesday I have off from work, so I should be fine and have my things done on time, I just need to keep focused and stay level headed.

Anyways just thought I would give a bit of an update, and well, I just had to let out a bit of my stress, I once had a shrink that said writing your feelings help, I guess she was right  :-)  lv ya Z.

I hope you are all gonna have a great week and be very blessed,

Lv,

C